It is a point in my life I have to be honest with myself, and to be honest, I have always been an artist.

My roots are that of a painter.

 

I passed up the chance of art school all those years ago.

Partly for the need of myself to feel I fit in, and partly because of I wanted a family and to feel needed.

But to add honesty, I never thought I was good enough.

 

 

The ability to dismiss peoples positive perceptions plagues me still.

I was a gifted child, and those expectations on myself brings doubt,

but that also brings hope.

 

 

I don't want to be good, I want to be the best.

And I know I can, if I make that effort.

Wether it is coping with the Asperger traits that has brought about my logic driven vision,

or it is a intangible gift my father tried to convince me that existed.

 

I do see things differently, I do process my reality different to the majority.

I don't have empathy, I do not know how you feel.

That is a strength if I choose it to be.

 

Now I want to paint.

My camera is my sketch pad, Photoshop is my canvas.

I want to show the world how I see things,

grab my own wee space in the great scheme of things.

Make people happy.

 

Come with me when chapter one is written.